Speak to your children with love, listen with patience, and guide with wisdom - for the words you share today shape how they view the world tomorrow.
It’s shocking how many words we use from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep.
It’s estimated that the average person uses 16,000-20,000 words per day.
There are certainly some mornings where it appears that my children woke up viewing that mark as a challenge to be beaten and they won’t be satisfied until it’s accomplished…
In the chaos of parenting, it’s easy to not take account of the words that we speak to our kids. Especially with young children, it’s a constant barrage of correction, discipline, answering question after question, and simple engaging responses.
“Yes, I did see that!”
“Wow, that WAS a big jump.”
“That was crazy, buddy!”
All while we’re being tasked with the other responsibilities that life throws at us like caring for our partner, working demanding jobs, keeping the house clean, and making sure that food is put on the table.
On a fundamental level, each of us as parents understand that if we use harmful or hate-filled words towards our kids, it’s hurtful and can cause damage on multiple levels.
This is a basic level of parenting that essentially all of us understand, even if some choose to ignore the cautions and still use these words that can have deleterious consequences.
However, for those who may not use hate-filled language with their kids, it’s easy to not fully comprehend the fact that our words still matter immensely. I’m guilty of this day in and day out.
It’s so tempting to bypass intentionality and instead fall back into survival mode some days with our kids as they push every single button - whether consciously or unconsciously - that they possibly can.
On days where my kids have completely ignored everything I’ve said, they’ve gone and done the things that I’ve told them 4,000 times previously not to do, or they’re bickering with one another and it’s drained me to the point where I’m begging for nap time, the last thing on my mind is being intentional with the words that I use with them.
If we reframe our mindset though to understand words as a constructive instrument dedicated to helping our children’s view of the world, I’m forced to choose my words more carefully.
Instead of just blowing by the 300th question in the last four minutes I’ve received, what would happen if I paused and took the time to explain more in-depth why this is the way something is?
Another way of viewing this is, instead of driving by the person stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, what if I stopped and gave them the tool necessary to help them?
As parents, it should be our objective to give our children the resources they need to succeed in life. To set them up for success as best as we can when they’re set to head out into the world on their own.
We can often view that in a practical sense with teaching them life lessons of how to do their own laundry, how to cook food, and how to set up a bank account…
But what if that process begins much earlier and in a much more unrecognized sense?
What if it comes down to the words we use with them on a day in and day out basis…because what they hear now will eventually shape the way that they view the world.
And how they view the world dictates the actions they take to make it a better place.